


Of Forests and Feelings

by Chishiki



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Canon Gay Character, Canon Gay Relationship, Cuddles, Fluff, Forests, Kissing, Kittens, M/M, Pining Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Simon is adorable, Sneaking Out, Stalking, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch Is Gay for Simon Snow, lots of kisses, night time cuddles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2019-05-25 02:26:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14967125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chishiki/pseuds/Chishiki
Summary: Simon had been acting strange lately. Sneaking out at night every night does not fit the hero trope. Baz notices this. He decides to follow Simon one night. Just to see what he's up to. What could he possibly be doing in the forest every night?





	Of Forests and Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! So this is my first time writing these characters and I feel like I have a weak ending but my friends assure me that it's fine. I wrote this for my friend because she's read every other SnowBaz fic in existence and she was deprived. There is some music I was listening to while writing this that I think goes well with the story so I'll drop that link here:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lE6RYpe9IT0   
> in case you wanna listen while reading.  
> Enjoy!

**Companion music:[ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lE6RYpe9IT0](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lE6RYpe9IT0)**

**Baz**

He was doing it again. Snow was sneaking out after he was sure I was ‘asleep’. This has been going on for about a week now. He’s probably sneaking off to be the hero again. Or he’s meeting up with Wellbelove. My stomach twisted at that thought. 

The door closed and I waited a few minutes before I got up to follow him. I hadn’t been able to get any decent rest with him sneaking out. I might as well figure out what he’s up to. 

“He’s probably off plotting.” I chuckled to myself. “Oh, how the tables have turned.” 

Snow was walking towards the Courtyard when I found him. He was carrying a small, round bag in his left hand. He crept towards the gate and slipped outside. Wherever he was going had to be close by, he never missed curfew.

I followed him across the Great Lawn and into the Wavering Wood. I’m usually really great at following people. But, this was Simon Snow and I couldn’t ignore the fact that he was still in his pajamas. He was barefoot, too. His hair was tousled, unbrushed.

I stepped on a dry twig. 

A too loud  _ crack _ echoed through the trees. Snow whipped around and stared at me. I was standing right in the middle of the path presently cursing myself for getting distracted. (Also ignoring the fact that I get distracted around Snow more than I probably should.)

“Baz?” There was more confusion in his voice than anger. There was a little of that there too, anger. “What’re you doing out here?” I snorted.

“What am  _ I _ doing out here? What are  _ you _ doing out here!? It’s almost curfew.” He tensed and held the little bag he was carrying closer. I crossed my arms to seem more intimidating.

“Why do you care?” He was already defensive. But, then again, he always is around me.

“You’re the one plotting this time, Snow.” He frowned but didn’t argue.

“You should go back. You don’t want to miss curfew.” I huffed.

“What? And you do?” He simply shrugged. Half of Snow’s sentences are shrugs. I took a couple of steps forward and he took one back. He glanced nervously behind him.

“Just go back to the dorm, Baz. I’ll be along in a minute.” He half turned to leave, convinced that I would leave just because he asked me to.

“No. I’m going to find out what you’re up to.” Snow turned back to me, frowning heavily.

“You don’t need to know where I’m going,” he huffed angrily. I didn’t have a response to that, so I just stared at him. He stared back.

“Just like in fifth year when you followed  _ me _ everywhere despite not needing to know where I was going?” Nice one, Baz. You got this.

Snow dragged his bottom lip between his teeth, a nervous gesture. My eyes followed the movement. You don’t got this. He shuffled his feet and gripped the bag a little tighter, his knuckles turning white. (He’s adorable.)

“It’s nowhere important,” he mumbled. I raised my eyebrow at that. He glanced up, then immediately looked away. 

“Like it or not, I’m following you. It can’t be that bad anyway. You’re Simon Snow.”

“No!” He shouted making me jump the tiniest bit. (You couldn’t even tell, it was more of a flinch really.) “No, you can’t follow me! And I am perfectly capable of being bad.” He argued with a small pout. 

“Bad for my heart,” I mumbled so quietly I wasn’t even sure  _ I _ heard me.

“What?” Snow asked taking the smallest step towards me.

“I said I don’t care. You can’t stop me.” He growled and stepped back again.

  
  


**Simon**

I could feel how red my ears were. Baz was extremely angry as well. He had to be. His calm eyes never left me, never stopped watching. I should have made sure he was completely asleep before I left. I can’t let him follow me. His lips were moving but I hadn’t heard anything.

“What?” His eyes met mine.

“I said I don’t care. You can’t stop me.” I growled in frustration. If he followed me he might hurt them. He walked towards me and stopped about a foot away.

“Lead the way, Snow.” I looked up at him pleadingly.

“Please.” It was a simple word, one syllable. Baz inhaled sharply and searched my face. What he was looking for? I don’t know. But, he seemed to find it.

“What are you doing out here, Snow?” His voice was gentle, a tone I don’t hear very often with him.

“You can’t tell the Mage,” I whispered. I could tell he wanted to tease me about that, but thankfully he kept his mouth shut.

“Okay,” he agreed. I let out a sigh. I didn’t have to tell him to follow me.

The forest was dark during the day, but it was ten times worse at night. It freaked me out. But, this was important. Baz followed silently behind me as I looked for my marked path. I was expecting him to ask where we were going, but if he was wondering, he didn’t say anything.

The path I was looking for was one I had made, so it wasn’t very well marked. Nor was it well packed down, walking through it always made a lot of noise. Baz snickered behind me. I turned to glare at him.

“Better be careful, Snow. You might attract everything in the woods if you walk any louder.” I snorted.

“Trust me. They won’t want to be anywhere near something as foul as you.” Baz huffed. (Again.)

  
  


**Baz**

Snow’s makeshift path led us to an opening clearing. It had to be the most beautiful clearing in the entire forest. The grass shined a dark, midnight green in the pale moonlight. Millions of lightning bugs floated lazily through the air, adding a tiny bit of light with which to see by. A babbling brook rushed noisily along one side and joined a still pond that rested on the south side of the clearing. The pond was dotted with lily pads, tired lightning bugs, and sleeping frogs. The trees loomed above us, poofy, dark shadows against the navy blue sky. Crickets chirped, merrily playing their ever repeating song in the background, oblivious to my inner turmoil.

The clearing, however beautiful it may be, could not compare to Snow. His bronze curls shone brilliantly in the moonlight. They framed his glowing smile that rivaled the moon itself. His moles were the stars. He looked excited and scared like he had just shared his most valuable treasure with me. His smile was lopsided and nervous, his breathing shaky. I felt my heart collapse. I had never seen anything more beautiful than Simon Snow. He was too much. 

I grimaced when he opened his mouth.

“Pretty great, right?” A million thoughts were racing through my head, all trying to be spoken at once. I shook my head to clear them away.

“It’s not like you made it,” I grumbled. The smile slipped from his face and I instantly felt guilty.

“No need to be such a twat.” He turned away from me and headed towards the pond. “The water is safe to drink.” He bent down with cupped hands. I turned away from him to admire the trees. This would be a beautiful painting.

“So, why exactly are you hiding a clearing from the Mage?” Snow stood back up. (I ignored the water slipping down his chin.) He shifted his weight from foot to foot.

“It’s not…” He paused and then started again. “It’s not the clearing I’m hiding.” Before I could ask anything else, two little creatures bounded out of the bushes. They barreled towards Snow. My instincts kicked in and I conjured a ball of fire.

“Wait! Baz, wait!” Snow yelled. I gave him an incredulous look as he bent down to catch the creatures. “Oof! Hey, guys!” Snow cheerily greeted the energetic creatures. Now that I could see them more clearly, I could tell that they were…

“Kittens?” I asked distinguishing the flame I had previously conjured. They were a bit big to be normal kittens.

“ [ Caracals ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caracal) . Penny says they’re native to Africa.” Snow took some meat from dinner out of the bag he had been carrying and fed it to the two babies.

“Then what are they doing here in England this close to Watford?” I sat down next to Snow hoping that the kittens wouldn’t attack me. 

“We don’t know.”  _ We _ …. Who is  _ We _ ? Snow and Bunce. Snow, Bunce, and Wellbelove? “We were walking to the Football Pitch when these two ran out of the forest. We’ve been feeding them and taking care of them ever since.”

“Why were you going to the Football Pitch?” Snow wasn’t on the team.

“There was a game that night that I...uh, Penny wanted to see.” I caught his little slip-up. I didn’t say anything. The kittens had the biggest ears with extremely long, fluffy tips. They had small, lithe bodies with long legs. Stubby, short faces and bushy tails. Rust colored fur covered their lean muscles. They had long, pointy canine teeth. (Explains the scratches covering Snow’s arms.) They could only be about nine months old.

“Why do you have to sneak out? Can’t you just come right after dinner?” Snow shook his head and fed them some more meat.

“They’re nocturnal.” I hummed in acknowledgment. Snow finished feeding them and they bounced off to splash in the pond, disturbing the frogs in the process.

“What’re they’re names?” Snow looked at me sheepishly. “Merlin and Morgana, Snow! What did you name them?”

“Penny named one of them!” He cried indigently. Then he sighed. He shifted closer to me (our sides just barely touching (I will not admit that I shivered.)) and pointed at the darker colored one.

“I named that one Cinnamon. Penny named the other one Nutmeg.” He dropped his hand but he didn’t scoot away.

“You named them after spices?” Snow smelled like the forest and fire. A forest fire if you will.

Snow shrugged. We sat like that for quite some time watching Cinnamon and Nutmeg prance about. When Nutmeg started yawning, Snow stood up and gathered the kittens into his arms. He walked over to a spot in the bushes and put them down. On closer inspection, I could see two beds made from grass in the protective underbrush.

Before Snow could come back, I laid down. You could see the stars clearly out here. (At least, better than you could from Watford.) A minute or so later, Snow lay down about two feet away from me. I refrained from looking at him.

“I didn’t know you trusted me this much, Snow.” He huffed.

“You promised not to tell the Mage, so I trust you with this. Plus, you’re safer than some creatures out in the forest.” He barely even mumbled that last part, but I could still hear him; special hearing. I tried to ignore how that made me feel. We sat in silence for a few moments. It was nice, peaceful. Snow kept glancing at me out of the corner of his eye. I could basically hear him screaming at me.

“Obviously plotting,” is what he would say. I would snap back at him, only helping his suspicions further along. But, he didn’t say anything. He chose to stare at me instead.

**Simon**

He has the prettiest eyes for a villain, deep-water grey. Maybe a balance between deep-water grey and slate grey. If you looked close enough you could see flecks of baby blue scattered around. His hands were so delicate, long, nimble, fingers. His hair looks extremely soft as well. Soft ebony, long enough to make a short braid. Maybe it (his beauty) was a vampire thing. 

Maybe it was a Baz thing.

He looks so peaceful here. He closed his eyes and relaxed. Out here he had nothing to worry about. No family wars. No grades. No appearances to keep up. He can just be  _ Baz _ .

His lips were parted slightly and a part of me wanted to call him a mouth-breather (just to get back at him), but I didn’t want to ruin the silence. This was nice, not fighting with him. I enjoyed moments like these. Suddenly, a very good question popped into my head.

“How come you don’t have a girlfriend yet?” His eyes snapped open, his breathing halted, and he turned to glare at me.

“Why do you care?” I shrugged, my fingers pulling at the delicate grass blades.

“I… it’s just…..you…”

“For Crowley’s sake Snow! Just spit it out!” Baz snapped.

“You’re so talented. You play the violin so beautifully. You’re always so  _ cool _ . You have the best grades in our year. And as much as I hate to admit it, you’re stupidly attractive. Plus, all the girls throw themselves at you. So, I guess I’m just curious as to why you don’t have one yet?”

He was staring at me. His eyes were wide and filled with surprise. (An emotion one never sees on Baz Pitch’s face.) His cheeks were delicately dusted in a pale pink and his mouth lay open in shock. 

He blinked. He didn’t speak. He blinked again.

I blink. I look into his eyes. I blink again.

He still doesn’t say anything.

I wonder what he’s thinking?

**Baz**

My brain has stopped working. Simon Snow,  _ the _ Simon Snow, had just complimented me,  **_Baz Pitch_ ** . What am I supposed to think?

But he’s staring at me, expecting an answer. I cleared my throat and swallowed. Then I looked away from him, deciding that it would be easier if I couldn’t see his questioning, sky blue eyes. I was wrong.

“I don’t want a relationship.”  _ Not with anyone except for you. _

“Then how come you always flirt with Agatha?” _ I was jealous of her. _

“To get under your skin.”  _ I’d love to be under you. _

“What about that girl in our Alchemy class?” _ I’m only helping her with notes. _

“We’re plotting, obviously.” Snow huffed out a half chuckle.

“None of your answers are true. I can tell because that’s your lying tone. Liar. But, whatever, don’t tell me.” I don’t know what it was. A moment of weakness? This forest? The moonlight shining in his eyes? It could have been a number of things. But, I let my guard down and I told him.

  
**Simon**

“I don’t want a girlfriend,” he breathed. I snorted.

“Whatever.” Baz sighed.

“You don’t get it, Snow. I don’t want a _ girl _ friend.” He was looking at me expectantly like I was missing something incredibly important. I stared back. He blinked. I blinked.

“You like being a single pringle?” I finally asked. He groaned.

“Crowley, Snow! I’m gay! As in girls do not interest me.” It took a moment for my mind to process his outburst. He looked like he instantly regretted saying anything.

“So….you like...boys?” He sighed. Then he nodded. Then he spoke, quietly.

“Yea.” 

“Okay,” I say.

“Okay?” He questions.

“Okay,” I confirm. 

“Okay,” he sighs and partially relaxs. And then I ruined it. 

“Do you like anyone?”

“What?” He tenses again.

“Any boys here caught your eye?” He’s judging me now. Not like judging me for my thoughts or anything, but he’s trying to judge what my motives might be. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone. It’s just you and I out here.” Baz’s eyes softened.

“Why do you care?” I shrugged.

“Just trying to make conversation.” Baz contemplated it. His lips were moving ever so slightly like he was debating with himself. (Adorable.)

“Yea.” I was still staring at him. “Yea, there is one boy,” he clarified. I grinned at him. He closed his eyes again and rested his hands on his chest.

“Is he cute?” He had a small smile on his lips now.

“Gorgeous,” he breathed.

“Is he smart?” Baz laughed and shook his head.

“Most of the time he’s a complete idiot.” I laughed.

“Never thought you’d go for someone below your IQ level.” Baz let out a tiny chuckle.

“Yea neither did I.” I shifted onto my side, facing Baz.

“Is he nice?” Baz let a gentle smile creep onto his face.

“So nice that it hurts. He gives out smiles like they’re free. He kisses babies just to change the weather from bad to good. And I think it works.”

“Wow, what a good match for you,” I joked. Baz huffed.

“He’d never even consider me.” Baz’s voice had taken on a melancholy tone.

“Why not?” He let out a long breath of air. The kittens were up and running around again. They’re just like puppies; playful one minute, out cold the next. And then you blink and they’re up and running around again.

“Well, for one thing, I’m pretty sure he’s straight.” I snorted. He shushed me. “He has a girlfriend. Also, he and I don’t get along.”

“Who  _ do _ you get along with?” I scoffed at him.

“Everyone but you.” It took a moment for his words to sink in. His eyes snapped open and he turned to look at me. He looked scared but I couldn’t figure out why. Then it hit me. Everything he was saying. He seemed frozen in time, not moving, barely breathing.

Something tugged at my heart. It took a while before I realized what it was, what I  _ wanted _ to do. Baz looked like he might bolt at any second. I didn’t want him to leave. So, I did the only thing that seemed rational at the moment.

I crawled over to him. He tried to sit up, but I swung a leg over his waist and pushed him back down. He reached up to push me off him, but I gently grabbed his wrists. He swallowed and looked at me with round, panicked eyes.

“Baz,” I murmured carefully as I pinned his wrists on the ground next to his head, “am I the boy you’re talking about?” 

  
  
  


**Baz**

This situation was dangerously close to more than one fantasy I’ve had about Snow. But those usually ended with my tongue halfway down his throat and my hands buried in his bronze curls. Maybe I had fallen asleep and this was just a dream. He was probably drawing on my face with a marker right now. That happened once in third year. I had to walk around with the word ‘loser’ written across my forehead all day because it wouldn’t wash off.

Snow was still looking at me with his curious eyes, expecting an answer just because he’s Simon Fucking Snow and he always gets what he wants. I shouldn’t answer him. He doesn’t need an answer. But, I’m weak. And it’s hard to deny him when he looks at me like that.

I could feel that damn cross he always wears buzzing in my veins and it hurt, but I didn’t want Snow to leave. I wanted him to stay. I wanted him  _ closer _ . I wanted  **_him_ ** .

“Baz?” I clenched my fists. He smelled wonderful this close up, like fire and leaves, really fresh leaves. (Again. Forest fire.) I swallowed my pride. (Literally, it felt like a lump was stuck in my throat.)

“Yes.” It was barely a whisper, but I knew he heard it. His grip softened and for a moment I feared he might leave. But he stayed right where he was.

“I don’t have a girlfriend,” was his answer. I rolled my eyes.

“Forgot about Wellbelove already?” He smiled sadly.

“More like she forgot about me.” He sighed and I could feel his breath ghost across my face, smelling of meat (assorted) and cheese sandwiches. “She broke up with me two months ago. I thought everyone knew.”

“I didn’t get the memo.” It was purely my imagination, but I could have sworn Snow was inching closer.

“Also, I take slight offense to the idiot part.” I half laughed. His smell was intoxicating. I’d never be able to get it out of my head. He’s never stayed this long in close proximity either. It was driving me crazy. Maybe he could hear my heart beating. I could. It was pounding wildly in my ears.

**Simon**

Baz half laughs when he’s nervous. It’s something about him that I’ve noticed over the years. He does it now. I think about putting him out of his misery, but then I get caught up in his eyes. This close up I can see that they’re not just one shade of grey, they’re millions shaded together and if that isn’t the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen-

Baz looks panicked again (never stopped really) and it occurs to me that I might be making him nervous. (Obviously.) But, I can’t bring myself to pull away. I don’t want to.

His slightly parted lips look so soft and inviting. How soft are they? Are boys’ lips softer than girls’? Baz’s look really soft. One way to find out.

**Baz**

It took a minute for my brain to catch up with current events. Snow and I having a conversation about boys. Snow figuring out I like him. Snow straddling me. Snow questioning me. Snow….kissing me. I couldn’t tell if that last one was actually happening or if I just wished it would. 

But then Snow… Simon was releasing my wrists and lowering himself onto his forearms. He’s giving me the option to stop him. I’m so far gone.

He’s so warm.

His hair is so curly.

His back is so smooth.

I’m still not entirely convinced that this is happening, but I’ve got him and I don’t intend on letting go. If he minds my hands roaming all over him, he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t stop kissing. I’m pretty sure his own hands would be wandering if they weren’t supporting him. 

He pulls away and I embarrass myself by making a tiny whimpering noise. He grins like the fucking Cheshire cat. He’s panting. (We both are.)

“Sorry.” He reached up around his neck and tugged his cross off. I hadn’t noticed the buzzing was still there until he said something. But now that he had, I could feel my skin prickling and itching. He smiled apologetically and chucked the damn thing as far away from us as he could.

And before I could utter another word, his lips returned to mine. I sighed in relief and dragged him closer by his shoulders, fingers clutching his shirt. His teeth nipped at my lower lip.

This was real, very real.

I’d have to make a mental note later to thank Wellbelove for teaching Sn...Simon how to kiss. Or maybe he already knew. But damn, he was good. Better than any fantasy I’ve ever had. But, maybe that’s just cause he’s so much warmer in real life, so much more alive. And he-

_ Oh… _

This is what really kissing Simon Snow felt like. Tongue and all. 

Simon kisses like he talks, in bursts of energy. He was passionate and wild one minutes and the next sweet and calm. My entire body was on fire. Every piece of me that touched the blue-eyed boy felt like a furnace and Simon does this thing with his tongue  _ that… _ made the heat spread.

“Simon,” I breathed between his pliable (oh, so pliable) lips. He responded by humming and pressing closer.

**Simon**

My arms were falling asleep. I could kiss Baz for hours. It was much more enjoyable than kissing Agatha ever had been. I  _ wanted _ to kiss Baz. Kissing Agatha felt more like an obligation. Baz breathed my name. Crowley, I like this.

My arms were numb.

I tugged Baz with me as I rolled onto my side. His breath hitched, but he didn’t make a move to get away from me. He simply looped his arms around my neck and pulled himself into me. Once I could feel my arms again, I ran my hand up and down his side. He made an appreciative noise and curled into my touch. He was starting to warm up, he wasn’t as cold as before.

I separated from him (only slightly) to breathe. He made that pleading, almost desperate, whimper again. It was fucking adorable.

“Sorry,” I heaved, “just need to catch my breath.” He was staring at me, trying to figure out my motive.

“Why?” was all he asked.

“Because I wanted to.” He shook his head and opened his mouth to say something else, but the kittens ran over and jumped on him. He jumped away from me and pushed them off him. I laughed and sat up. Cinnamon was gnawing on his fingers and Nutmeg was tugging at his pajama bottoms.

“They’re pests. Just like you.” He gave me a small smile and I pulled Nutmeg away.

“You love this pest though.” All the teasing fell from his eyes and he gave me a serious look.

“I do. I really, really do.”

  
  


I woke up the next morning to Baz curled into my side and the kittens sleeping by our heads. Baz’s arms were wrapped around my middle, head tucked under my chin. I tightened my grip on his shoulders and grinned.

I buried my nose in his hair and grinned some more. He smelled of cedar and bergamot. It’s wonderful. Baz inhaled and shifted closer.

“What are you going to tell Bunce?” I’d heard his tired voice before, but that was when he was shouting early morning insults. This time his voice was laden with affection and exhaustion. It was pleasant.

“What do you want me to tell her?” Baz sighed.

**Baz**

Waking up to Simon was like heaven. That is waking up without the insults and glares. I’d have to pinch myself later to make sure for certain that this isn’t a dream.

What do I want Simon to tell Bunce? That we’re together. Are we together? Can I finally call him mine?

“I want to be able to call you mine,” I sighed. Simon chuckled.

“Penny’s smart. She’ll figure it out.” Simon rubbed comforting circles into my back.

“Today’s Saturday,” I stated. Simon hummed. “We don’t have to go back, until lunch.”

“I’m perfectly okay with that.”

**The End**

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Let me know how I did please. I'm always open to criticism. Have a nice day!


End file.
